Well he's definitely not a dragon... I went into a shop today where there were rubber ducks. Unfortunately I didn't think I could fit them in my bag, and they were the squeaky kind which might alarm airport customs even more (I wear too much decorations and stuff. I have never been through a sensor without setting it off. This year it was my shiny shoe buckle things.) I'm also in a general state of edginess at the moment because my mother has developed the peculiar habit of shouting/whispering loudly "look! It's Chris Corner!" in crowded places, then adding "..if he was Indian/Really fat/Italian/A surfer"" or something along those lines after a few seconds of surprise. wow.
I know! Then they do that thing with the weird detector thing and, as my friend put it, "you feel violated". I've grown used to it now. I accept that it happens every single time, and I have learnt to expect it. Except if you happen to be very tired and don't notice the alarm and them beckoning you with their alien probing device, they get annoyed at you for walking away in the opposite direction.
It is. Thankfully she has stopped, now the majority of people we pass are English-speaking. (Although, in my first venture into town today, I noticed a lot of people speaking in different languages. Happily, my tiny town has become hugely multi-cultural over the course of about four weeks. I don't know how it happened, but I do like hearing other languages and going into all these new Turkish supermakets and things. It adds to the colour of life...)
I once went through a knife arch on the tube, then realised I had a craft knife in my bag. Needless to say, I was terrified. Surprisingly the arch didn't go off. I wasn't sure if I was more relieved or disturbed... if it didn't detect my craft knife then who knows what else has gone through it.
That is one of the reasons I love London - it's so diverse. I end up giving directions to Spanish tourists shockingly often.